When I was first battling with reactive hypoglycemia, I had to cancel pretty much everything. I was in bed early every night and the thought of socializing made my head want to explode. I think a lot of people thought I must have been having some kind of weird breakdown. To be honest I thought I WAS having some weird kind of breakdown.
I remember one friend baulking at me with horror as she spluttered, “What? No alcohol….ever?”.
A tiny bit of me cried inside as I confirmed that was indeed the case. But to be honest, I wouldn’t be the actual “alcohol” I would be missing, but more the ritual of pouring myself a glass of wine as I made dinner, or celebrating the end of the week with a gin and tonic. I was no longer a big drinker, but would mourn for these little moments.
Many, many months forward when I did finally have the strength to actually go out again – after having been quite the recluse – I realised that I was still exhausted and found socializing in the evenings really difficult. So days were where it was at for me, and I reorganized my life around that. Gone were the party girl days, and instead I got my kicks from conversation, connection and wellbeing.
When I did go out, I would always have my day ahead’s food packed with me. I would religiously count out the snacks, ensure I had a packed lunch or dinner whenever I needed to. It meant having to be super organised! But I soon got used to it. And strangely even enjoyed it with time.
And luckily, eating out in the UK is fairly advanced, so there was generally always a way around my eating needs. Although a couple of times I have been caught out and eaten something which had sugar in it without realising, and suffered the consequences of battling a sugar crash.
It is weird to think I probably won’t ever raise a glass of champagne for a toast, or have a nightcap again. I think socialising does change when you’re forced into being teetotal overnight and it’s made me realised how much – at least in the UK – how much everything revolves around having a drink.
I probably won’t ever dance again all night – because imagine being up and dancing all night having to eat every two and half to three hours – gah! And I am careful not to over-schedule myself because I find that never works out well for me. I’m definitely not as care free as I used to be, but well most of that went out of the window with motherhood anyway.